Feb 25, 2011

New Zards!

The Zards decided to shake things up Wednesday, trading Kirk Hinrich and Hilton Armstrong to the Atlanta Hawks for Mike Bibby, Jordan Crawford and a first round pick in the upcoming draft. With Melo going to New York, Deron headed for Brooklyn (glass half full Deron, glass half full), and Kendrick Perkins leaving Boston, most analysts have bigger fish to fry. Not us! Our pan is small.

First, let's say goodbye.

Kirk, you overdribbled your way into our hearts, relentlessly probing and reprobing the defense, the shot clock its consequences be damned.

Hilton, you could jump really high, and in our darkest hour your tiny head made us smile. So thanks for that.

Now, let's say hello.

Mike Bibby and Team Dime (see above) you probably know. Back when Chris Webber and Vlade Divac roamed the hardwood, he was a stellar point for the Sacramento Kings. Now he's really, really slow. He is going to hate playing with John Wall, but for the rest of us it should be a barrel of laughs. For more on Mike Bibby, some strongly recommended reading.

Jordan Crawford you might not know. If you do, it's probably for this:

That was Lebron James getting yammed on by Crawford at his basketball camp. Nike destroyed all the good footage, which, paradoxically, is the only reason anyone knows about it. Crawford's a rookie, he was playing 10 minutes a game in Atlanta, and the rest is specualation.

Ultimately, though it seems rather thin, this is a good deal. Hinrich? Bibby? Guess what, it doesn't matter, not when your record says 15-41. But Crawford is young enough that he might turn into a player, whereas that train has already sailed for Hilton Armstrong. Sorry Hilton.

We didn't do as well as Donald Sterling (who gave Baron Davis, his bete noir, the ultimate finger), but we did alright. We picked up a prospect (however dim) and a draft pick, and that's what rebuilding is all about.

Feb 23, 2011

AP English

Fact of the day: the Associated Press writes their postgame recaps in code. And it's not just the writers, the players and the coaches are in on it too. Impossible you say? Impossible is nothing, even in Italian. To demonstrate, please enjoy the following excerpts from the AP recap for tonight's Wizards-Pacers tilt (final score: 113-96, bad guys), as translated by ZA.

"As Roy Hibbert stood at his locker... it was suggested to him that the Pacers are becoming fun to watch."
Translation: God we used to hate watching Pacers games.

Roy Hibbert in response: "A month ago, you wouldn't be saying that, would you? We're out here trying to win games now."
Translation: God I hated Jim O'Brien.

Andray Blatche, on the Wizards effort: "Guys didn't bring no effort. They outworked us on every possession. Nobody brought heart with them."
Translation: Notice how by taking ownership of the criticism, I implicitly manage to exclude myself from it.

Added John Wall, "This game we didn't fight at all. It's getting old."
Translation: All that talk about the Decision, nobody mentioned how Lebron totally left it open for a sequel. Just sayin.